I love how evocative this is of a particular time and place without actually showing faces, narration or music - it's like cinema poetry! One of the things that impressed me so much about your treatment was the choice to focus on something that is both mundane (Taco Bell on a weekend night) and (sort of secretly) full of life. This rough cut feels true to that sentiment: The layering effect of images (hands, bags, cell phones and street light) and sounds (the crinkling, banter and of course laughter/giggling) create a mood that is both light and fleeting. It's clear that this is where you all go, all the time, but that it's also a snapshot of your lives right now. Next year, you probably won't be having a conversation about beefsteak tomatoes in the TB parking lot...
A few things that really stood out for me: I loved the sequencing of shots you've chosen. Though it wasn't immediately clear that the shots held a narrative, the unfolding of images did help establish for me where we were and who the characters are (loved the combination of nail polish on purple soda cups and the quick glimpse we see of a boy's photo on the cell phone). The sound was so layered at first that I couldn't distinguish one voice from another (until "Melissa! I mean Bridget I mean...") the cacophony might have been overwhelming if it had gone on longer, but when individual voices rose out of the background I was really listening closely, and the effect of all those layered voices really communicated a thatch of sounds. I had to listen a few times to hear what the first voice was saying - I wondered how the volume might sound if it were up the whole time? It seems like there's an arch to the sound (quiet/louder/quiet) that was tricky to hear on my computer, but might be easier on a bigger screen.
Because this is a rough cut, I'm assuming that title cards will be included? A little something to establish context might be helpful - even a quick title at the beginning might make that first voice stand out more, since we'll be ready for it...
This is a thoughtful, complex, engaged piece, Bridget - wonderful work! Please let me know if you have questions or want to talk about any of this more. Can't wait to see the final.
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Hi Bridget, I love how
Hi Bridget,
I love how evocative this is of a particular time and place without actually showing faces, narration or music - it's like cinema poetry! One of the things that impressed me so much about your treatment was the choice to focus on something that is both mundane (Taco Bell on a weekend night) and (sort of secretly) full of life. This rough cut feels true to that sentiment: The layering effect of images (hands, bags, cell phones and street light) and sounds (the crinkling, banter and of course laughter/giggling) create a mood that is both light and fleeting. It's clear that this is where you all go, all the time, but that it's also a snapshot of your lives right now. Next year, you probably won't be having a conversation about beefsteak tomatoes in the TB parking lot...
A few things that really stood out for me: I loved the sequencing of shots you've chosen. Though it wasn't immediately clear that the shots held a narrative, the unfolding of images did help establish for me where we were and who the characters are (loved the combination of nail polish on purple soda cups and the quick glimpse we see of a boy's photo on the cell phone). The sound was so layered at first that I couldn't distinguish one voice from another (until "Melissa! I mean Bridget I mean...") the cacophony might have been overwhelming if it had gone on longer, but when individual voices rose out of the background I was really listening closely, and the effect of all those layered voices really communicated a thatch of sounds. I had to listen a few times to hear what the first voice was saying - I wondered how the volume might sound if it were up the whole time? It seems like there's an arch to the sound (quiet/louder/quiet) that was tricky to hear on my computer, but might be easier on a bigger screen.
Because this is a rough cut, I'm assuming that title cards will be included? A little something to establish context might be helpful - even a quick title at the beginning might make that first voice stand out more, since we'll be ready for it...
This is a thoughtful, complex, engaged piece, Bridget - wonderful work! Please let me know if you have questions or want to talk about any of this more. Can't wait to see the final.
Best,
Jones
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