I like this a lot. The work so far is great.
Can you give me an idea of where this is going? What other topics do you get into? How many more people do you have in front of the fabric giving their stereotypes? How often do you come back to jordan? Do you introduce any other muslim students?
A few specific comments:
Your beginning narration has to be louder.
A couple of the hand written things I couldn't read. Maybe add a subtitle.
The girl laughing as she says "Terrorist and bombing" is so disturbing. Where else did you think of putting that?
Cut the responses of people in front of the fabric a little more tightly, lose the pauses and "uhms" if you can.
Bravo - this is a really important topic and I really like that you've focused in on your school.
In addition to Joe's questions... just a couple of comments:
I think we talked about you re-recording your entire narration so it all sounds the same, right?
What if you use the hand-written note cards to break up your piece into sections? Is it possible? That might be a nice thread throughout your piece.
Comments
I like this a lot. The work
I like this a lot. The work so far is great.
Can you give me an idea of where this is going? What other topics do you get into? How many more people do you have in front of the fabric giving their stereotypes? How often do you come back to jordan? Do you introduce any other muslim students?
A few specific comments:
Your beginning narration has to be louder.
A couple of the hand written things I couldn't read. Maybe add a subtitle.
The girl laughing as she says "Terrorist and bombing" is so disturbing. Where else did you think of putting that?
Cut the responses of people in front of the fabric a little more tightly, lose the pauses and "uhms" if you can.
There is editing time tomorrow if you want it.
Great work so far.
Bravo - this is a really
Bravo - this is a really important topic and I really like that you've focused in on your school.
In addition to Joe's questions... just a couple of comments:
I think we talked about you re-recording your entire narration so it all sounds the same, right?
What if you use the hand-written note cards to break up your piece into sections? Is it possible? That might be a nice thread throughout your piece.
Can't wait to see more of your film! Good stuff.
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