Submitted by kathryn ramey (not verified) on May 19, 2009 - 9:42am.
Hi Noah,
Sorry it has taken me so long to get back to you. It's been a very hectic end of the semester. In any event, I'm sure you are nearly done with "Sweet Dreams" as the screening is on Friday, but I thought I'd give you some feedback in the event that there is still time to change it. Overall I think you did a good job of shooting for editing - that for the most part you were able to cut well from shot to shot with coverage etc.. The speed effects are a useful device for moving through long segments although I wonder if it is a bit overused. I also think that these segments could be cut significantly, as their length, at times, takes the viewer out of the narrative. This is particularly true of the lobster preparation and consumption scene. You do not need to show every step of the way. We understand the process of making a lobster so certain things can be shortened or deleted. We all know that you need a pot with water to boil one, do we really need to see you both get the pot and put water in it? And if we do, can we cut this down? This is the most problematic area for me, because the first 5 minutes of the film is set up and set up should be a lot shorter. Also, I'm not clear on the decision to desaturate the pharmacy scene. Why black and white inside? It does not seem as motivated as the speed effects for me. Rather it seems like an effect done for effect. The pharmacy scenes (interior) are also too long. We don't need to see the whole transactions both times. I would edit them down and DEFINITELY cut out the shot where you look at the camera. Breaking the fourth wall in a film like this is not a good idea. The ending is the strongest part, which is good. When you DO finally look at the camera - it is because it has become the beast and we (the audience) are seeing you through it's eyes. A nice effect. Anyhow, overall the piece is strong and is working well as it is, however if you cut down the set-up and pharmacy scenes by a few minutes each to get the total running time to 10-12 minutes I think it would be even more successful. I hope this was useful and not too late. Again, I apologize for being out of touch.
Comments
Hi Noah, Sorry it has taken
Hi Noah,
Sorry it has taken me so long to get back to you. It's been a very hectic end of the semester. In any event, I'm sure you are nearly done with "Sweet Dreams" as the screening is on Friday, but I thought I'd give you some feedback in the event that there is still time to change it. Overall I think you did a good job of shooting for editing - that for the most part you were able to cut well from shot to shot with coverage etc.. The speed effects are a useful device for moving through long segments although I wonder if it is a bit overused. I also think that these segments could be cut significantly, as their length, at times, takes the viewer out of the narrative. This is particularly true of the lobster preparation and consumption scene. You do not need to show every step of the way. We understand the process of making a lobster so certain things can be shortened or deleted. We all know that you need a pot with water to boil one, do we really need to see you both get the pot and put water in it? And if we do, can we cut this down? This is the most problematic area for me, because the first 5 minutes of the film is set up and set up should be a lot shorter. Also, I'm not clear on the decision to desaturate the pharmacy scene. Why black and white inside? It does not seem as motivated as the speed effects for me. Rather it seems like an effect done for effect. The pharmacy scenes (interior) are also too long. We don't need to see the whole transactions both times. I would edit them down and DEFINITELY cut out the shot where you look at the camera. Breaking the fourth wall in a film like this is not a good idea. The ending is the strongest part, which is good. When you DO finally look at the camera - it is because it has become the beast and we (the audience) are seeing you through it's eyes. A nice effect. Anyhow, overall the piece is strong and is working well as it is, however if you cut down the set-up and pharmacy scenes by a few minutes each to get the total running time to 10-12 minutes I think it would be even more successful. I hope this was useful and not too late. Again, I apologize for being out of touch.
All the best,
Kathryn
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