Submitted by jdouillette on March 31, 2011 - 2:38pm.
Strong intro. Your voice is a good one. Music will be an important element if you are using it. Pictures can go a lot slower; you can focus on a detail in the picture for a while.
Hugh: Might need more of a lead in before you get to the conflict or drama
Rene: You could have this moment where it could be your father talking that could be a teaser to his interview.
Hey Chavella!
Sorry I couldn't make it to the screening! but i started watching your WIP stuff and had a few comments that I wish I could have given at the time!
I would like to see the pictures moving a little slower. Let us really take it in. Start to recognize his face. And also be able to piece together what's going on a little better. Also::: use the audio to be your pace for cutting the video.
The footage of you by the window: nice touch! There is a little jump cut at the beginning of that segment that i was wondering if it's intentional or not... if yes then i think you might need a few more of those to keep it cohesive. to refer back to the pace of editing and your voice over, you can keep that pace in the segment where you are in front of the window as well and i think it would be super cool!
The part with the letters were on for the perfect amount of time and over all i think your intro is super intriguing!
can't wait to see more! keep up the good work ol girl!
lenora
Submitted by mstilesroyall on March 31, 2011 - 6:20pm.
Chavella,
SUCH a beautiful start!!!! I'm so excited about this project. Your narrative is incredible. Strong, natural, brave, and honest. Your voice definitely carries the project. I'm really looking forward to hearing the rest of your story!
We definitely need more time on the photos and letters. You'll also want to play around with keyframes in final cut to do slow zooms and pans with your still photos. You can ask us to show you how to do this.
Also, are you planning on using music? This will definitely help set the tone of your piece, and tie it all together. But you want to be careful that the music doesn't dominate your voice.
I really like the IDEA of the shot of you by the window, but I wish I could see you a little better. I don't loooooove the lighting. I'm wondering if you should reshoot this...
Please get in touch to schedule our next chat by phone. I can talk tomorrow (Friday) at 4:30 at my home number (same you called earlier), or Friday April 15 at the same time, at my office.
Comments
Strong intro. Your voice is
Strong intro. Your voice is a good one. Music will be an important element if you are using it. Pictures can go a lot slower; you can focus on a detail in the picture for a while.
Hugh: Might need more of a lead in before you get to the conflict or drama
Rene: You could have this moment where it could be your father talking that could be a teaser to his interview.
Hey Chavella! Sorry I
Hey Chavella!
Sorry I couldn't make it to the screening! but i started watching your WIP stuff and had a few comments that I wish I could have given at the time!
I would like to see the pictures moving a little slower. Let us really take it in. Start to recognize his face. And also be able to piece together what's going on a little better. Also::: use the audio to be your pace for cutting the video.
The footage of you by the window: nice touch! There is a little jump cut at the beginning of that segment that i was wondering if it's intentional or not... if yes then i think you might need a few more of those to keep it cohesive. to refer back to the pace of editing and your voice over, you can keep that pace in the segment where you are in front of the window as well and i think it would be super cool!
The part with the letters were on for the perfect amount of time and over all i think your intro is super intriguing!
can't wait to see more! keep up the good work ol girl!
lenora
Chavella, SUCH a beautiful
Chavella,
SUCH a beautiful start!!!! I'm so excited about this project. Your narrative is incredible. Strong, natural, brave, and honest. Your voice definitely carries the project. I'm really looking forward to hearing the rest of your story!
We definitely need more time on the photos and letters. You'll also want to play around with keyframes in final cut to do slow zooms and pans with your still photos. You can ask us to show you how to do this.
Also, are you planning on using music? This will definitely help set the tone of your piece, and tie it all together. But you want to be careful that the music doesn't dominate your voice.
I really like the IDEA of the shot of you by the window, but I wish I could see you a little better. I don't loooooove the lighting. I'm wondering if you should reshoot this...
yay!
-Maya
(p.s. are we going to find out his secret?)
Chavella, Please get in touch
Chavella,
Please get in touch to schedule our next chat by phone. I can talk tomorrow (Friday) at 4:30 at my home number (same you called earlier), or Friday April 15 at the same time, at my office.
Looking forward to it! -- Faith
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